sick

im so sick of losing everyone i love around me, im tired of being the conditional friend, im never the first option EVER im always last to everything. i'm not even my own boyfriends first option on a shitty day LOL

tired

im tired of everyone leaving me when im no longer a good punching bag

no one asked

no one ask me how i feel or how my day is or anything im never asked about myself ever.

edgy

somehow the sociopaths,pedophiles and kidnappers that my mom warned me about are so much kinder to me then anyone else.

lyric posting 5?

i wanna starve, be hot! be hot!

im sorry

 your right in front of me but ur silence feels like the cold shoulder, i feel scared to say how i feel because i feel like you wouldnt even care. im scared if i express how i feel i'll no longer be "perfect". i always bottle it up all for you, you dont need to know how i feel or my opinions or what i like. why would you? what would be the point? so you can see me for who i am? "human" and flawed to the bone? never. never ever ever. 

you

 you only talk to me to berate yourself or me even more. you dont seem happy at all. i wish i could help but im unhappy with myself too.

gotta build

 i have to rebuild my doll-like image. i have to be perfect, i have to be perfect again i have to iu have to be perfect afgain i have to be perfecytagain

im bored

 im bored

im going to

 im going to starve my emotions away again, i hate having to feel i hate this hate this hate this!!

.

 i want to vomit im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

.

 i want to not exist at all

drooling

 the thought of me being punished and hurt and beaten for not being perfect enough and being annoying and stupid

bruise

 hammering my arms and knuckles until i get bruises because bruises make me feel cute and dainty yay